Buzz Kill

Have you seen the character, Debbie Downer, on "Saturday Night Live" ? It's so funny and brilliant if you ask me. She is this woman that nobody likes to be around because EVERYTHING she talks about is negative. If it's an unfortunate situation about her, a current event, or some random depressing fact, she speaks up and tells everyone about it. After succeeding in bringing the room down, her friends sigh and moan wondering if she is ever going to say something positive and meaningful OR they wonder when she will be leaving.

How many people do you know like this? Are you one of them? I can say that I've probably been guilty of this with all my negative stories. It's funny to think that...what a drag! I'm not saying to not share them with other people in fact I encourage it. It's one way we can learn about ourselves and others may benefit from it as well. My point is to do it in MODERATION. Think about it like this: You go and meet a friend that you haven't seen in awhile. You're both full of happy energy and smiling as you approach one another...almost like a relief to finally meet up again. Stories start flowing and your friend immediately goes into negative mode, talking about how crappy his or her life is. You start feeling bad, not really knowing what to say. You're scrambling in your mind to come up with SOMETHING to respond with, but the stories just keep coming. You're energy level lowers and you're caught feeling a bit depressed because you're feeding off your friends vibe. You leave thinking, "This is why we don't see each other often,...what a buzz kill."

Now try this: You're meeting your friend, and though they've had some hard stuff to deal with, they share a quick story, you talk about it and then it's over. He or she may be feeling pretty bad, but totally aware that their own problems has nothing to do with you, so why make the happy moment a sad one if it doesn't need to be? Conversation is flowing, talking about old times and funny stories. As the meeting ends, you hug each other and think, "This was really great! We should do this again soon!" Your friend leaves with the thought, "Wow, this is the best I've felt in a long time. I need to get out more."