A love lesson learned and a new challenge.

When I began this blog, I was going through all the emotions I needed to have for my life transformation. I was able to let go of everything I needed to move forward and to finally reach a place where I can see things for what they are. Since Landmark, I've had this knowledge where dating is concerned, but I haven't been using it. From here on out, this will be my new challenge. I'm going to follow my gut instincts, whether I want to or not because I know what's good for me and it's time to put myself first. There's no more of living by the "idea" of another person, it's not a successful way in choosing a partner, and I am committed to transforming this area in my life.

For the past few weeks, I've been holding back and not expressing myself because I didn't have all the "right" answers, as I said in a previous post. I couldn't understand why I always seem to give so many the benefit of the doubt, holding on to see if something is there, and setting myself up for disappointment. Do I feel I deserve that? No. Do I think I can change someone? No. So what is it? I got it. If they don't know who they are themselves, how can I know who they are? Then a light went on...it's NOT about me, it's about them. That's when I picked up the book, "The Mastery of Love," and really got what love is and isn't.

People can be so misleading. They say one thing and then do another. They lose their power in every situation because they buy into their own bullshit. They don't have a sense of what reality is, and proceed to make others believe that they do. It's almost like a split personality, they act one way for an individual or a group and then another, trying to "fit" in because they don't know how to just be. It's pure selfishness, as long as they're getting what they want, nothing else seems to be important. I'm not saying they're wrong or right, I'm saying it's unfortunate that they live in their own heads so much that they don't have the ability to step inside another's point of view. They walk through life as if they're the only one that matters, uncaring of who they hurt, even though they feel it's real love and respect. That's the scary part, the false sense of what a relationship is and what it "should" entail. It manifests into control and resentment because there seems to be no other way. I mean, how can they show their love to someone else if they don't love themselves? They can't. They mistakenly confuse love with control and domination. They don't want the other to be happy without them, so they step in to make sure that it's not so, blindly setting the other up for a downfall, unfeeling of the affect it may have on their well-being. They convince themselves and others they have changed, but nobody can change overnight, especially when self-love isn't present. The only one who can fix it is the one who gets what love is. After all, love isn't about hurting each other. It's about independence, equality, respect, acceptance, and joy. You don't have that, you don't have love, and that's all there is to it...pure and simple.