Emotions Heal

I know why I haven't had much to say. Last week was a crazy emotional time for me, which left me blank. I feel nothing, which is a great! Now, I'm kinda reflecting on my life, how I want to live it, and what my next moves will be. I feel very present, like things are falling into place and I feel the source to that is me letting go the pent up emotions that I never was able to before. I was able to confront a few of my fears, ones that I fully wasn't aware that I had. It was scary at first, but SO needed.

It's amazing, the more in touch I get with myself, the easier it is to move forward. In the past, anything negative would've kicked me out of commission for awhile, putting me in a place that seemed impossible to get out of. In my opinion, through my most recent experiences, it was holding onto those emotions that kept me from knowing how to come up and breathe. It caused me more hurt and pain to bottle, then to let myself go into the darkside because I couldn't feel what I needed in order for me to change. For example, I just got off the phone with Alice, my SELP coach, and we came to a conclusion that though I felt I had closure with my ex-husband two years ago, I never was truly complete. I totally get that. I never got a chance to tell him how much I hurt when we were together, I never got to tell him how he affected me in my life, and how he affects me now. I bet if I had this conversation with him, I'd be overly emotional and that's because there hasn't been a completion for me. I need to become complete. S0, I'm going to write a letter. I'm NOT going to send it to him, he's got too much going on in his life to deal with me having this realization. I'm going to write out everything I felt at the time, a few years ago, and how I feel now. I'll put some time aside sometime this week and go at it alone. I'll be with my emotions and see where it takes me next. Wish me luck!