Silly Me

I just want to stress to everyone how therapeutic writing is. I've been sitting here by myself, all day long, listening to the voices in my head. They were being negative, not sure why but I wasn't feeling good about myself. After hours upon hours of my ego talking, I thought it'd be in my best interest to write in my personal journal to find the source to my craziness. As soon as I began to write, I got it! I knew exactly why I was feeling the way I was, where it started, and what was prolonging it...My stubborn act was in full play. Man, I hate that shit...haha! I want everyone to know that I AM NOT PERFECT (of course YOU all know that, so just bear with me here)! It's so ridiculous the way I think sometimes. I'm not making myself wrong for it, it's just apart of my process and I want to share it with the rest of you. Anyway, I feel completely present now, with a few moments of laughter, wondering why I let myself dwell as long as I did.

Another thought: I was talking to this guy at my SELP course about my act of having to be perfect. He had a really good point, something that I need to remember when I have moments like the ones I did today (heehee). He said something like, "People are more intriguing when they aren't perfect. It makes them less intimidating and more approachable." I totally agree with that. I wouldn't want to hang around with anyone I felt was perfect, then I'd feel less about myself. Who would want that? Not me, so why would I want to make someone else feel like that? I don't. I want people to feel as comfortable around me as I want to feel around them.

I don't want to be perfect, I want to be Me.