I believe there is a god.

I'm not a religious person by any means. I think we tried Sunday school a few times when we were growing up, but it just didn't fit. We didn't go to church on Sundays either. I think my mom and dad felt bad about that. I don't know why they would. I feel more free now to make those kind of choices for myself than I would've being brought up in a "mandatory" religion. I'm thankful that we never had anything pushed on us, because it left us with the right to choose, whether we wanted to believe in something or not.

For the longest time, I didn't believe there was a god. I had so many things go wrong in my life health wise, that I refused to think that it was even a possibility. "If there is really a god, then why is this happening to me?" The "talk" of him looking over us made me uncomfortable...and annoyed. I didn't appreciate others pushing that thought when I didn't want to hear it in the first place.

After reading a few books recently, for the purpose of "fixing" myself, I definitely have a new understanding on my beliefs now than I ever did. I, in fact, do believe there is a god. I don't necessarily believe (only my opinion) he's up in heaven looking down at us, I think he's "with" us...inside of us. I think the only heaven and hell that is real are the ones we create for ourselves. When we live out our negative stories, feeling miserable while we're doing it, and beating ourselves up for something that happened 20 years ago, we're living in hell. When we live out our positive stories, feeling on top of the world, and doing EVERYTHING we want to do in life, we're living in heaven. That's what it is to me. God is in me and I get to choose my own destiny to heaven or hell. I choose heaven…it seems like a better place to be and a lot more fun!