The best reaction is no reaction.

All fighting is, is reaction...nothing more, nothing less. I call you a name, you call me a name. I yell at you, you yell back. What does that accomplish? It accomplishes nothing but hurt feelings, regretful statements, and a lot of wasted time and energy. When we're reacting in those moments, we're not listening to what is being said and what needs to be heard. It's like we're on a racquetball court, words are just coming at us from every direction, and we're trying to defend ourselves so we don't get hit. It has nothing to do with where the words are coming from. We hit them back as hard as we can to win a point and to make ourselves feel good for making the score even or better yet...a victory.

Unfortunately, this is how human behavior works and the only person who can change it is the one who is willing to take a stand for both individuals. What I mean by that is very simple, yet difficult to practice. The best reaction is no reaction and it will work every time. It allows the person to say what they need to and not feel threatened for doing so. It also invites us to really listen to what they're saying, possibly even finding a quick resolution because the want and willingness is there. How can this be effective? Well, imagine yourself yelling at someone who is taking it all in and being totally non-reactive. You're kind of left there feeling silly because the other person isn't behaving this way, which will eventually bring you back down to a rational state of being. The disagreement will still be there, however, now there is a clearing for the real communication to begin and both parties can be present for the conversation. If that doesn't fit, think of it like this. How many times have you NOT said something for fear of the reaction? Now imagine if you knew the person wouldn't react, would you still keep it to yourself? No, because you wouldn't feel that you had to. Instead, you'd be confident in the conversation and what you say might actually be heard.