Do you really know about respect?

I didn't until recently. I read about it in books, but really got it this weekend. When we feel bad for someone, there's no respect. There's no respect because we subconsciously feel they're not strong enough to overcome whatever is going on in their lives. We look at them through sadness instead of empathy...two totally different points of views that can really impact a situation. Approaching one with a "I'm feeling bad for you" point of view, isn't really listening to what's going on. It's feeding more into their story, not making a clearing for them to step up and make things better. When we empathize, we're stepping into their shoes and really hearing what they need us to. We get what they're feeling, we let them know that we get it, but we leave the stories in such a way that the belief in them is present and they feel it too. It's basically saying, "I get where you are and I'm sad for you, but I know you'll get through this," and the respect wills them to keep going.

This is the same in communication. When we withhold from someone we love, we have no respect. We don't think they can handle it, so we're not going to say it. The ironic part is, the reason we don't feel they can handle it is because we in fact can't handle it ourselves. We don't want to take responsibility for what will be said next and will selfishly choose to shut down instead. If we have respect for another, words will not break the relationship, it'll make it that much stronger because we care enough to be self-expressed when there seems to be something missing. However; there is a catch to this. Of course, the best way IS to be honest...but not brutally. One must step back and realize what the intent is before saying something outright. It must also be communicated in a way that creates a clearing for an end resolution. If that isn't present, the respect isn't present. Nobody will get anywhere and then we're stuck in a vicious cycle of endless reactive conversation.