Being Self-Expressed

I'm almost finished being an SELP coach, I can't wait! I LOVE my participants, it's been a great experience; however, I'm Landmarked out and look forward to my nice LONG break. This past week has been difficult for me, trying to "get off it" when I'm in the class, but it's so confronting. I find myself getting angry and frustrated, the disconnectedness within the coaching team is so obvious, yet nobody will acknowledge it. We all go about our time, waiting for the last class to arrive, and not being responsible for what is happening in the room.

On Thursday, I couldn't take anymore during our coaches meeting, before class began. Doris, our leader, was having another reoccurring conversation with us, I could feel my whole body getting hot and my head getting ready to explode. I raised my hand and said some words, she cut me off and told us to create a possibility around what I was saying and that's when I realized that this has to stop. She looked at me and asked if I was complete. I said no, said what was in my space, and that's when the heated conversation began...

I stood up in front of the room, while all the coaches watched as Doris and I threw our words at each other. I was pissed off and accused her of never listening. I said I don't feel a connection with her and this was the most un-Landmark experience I've ever had. I said all her concerns were surface level, she makes us wrong for everything, and we need to find the source or nothing will change. I told her this conversation should have happened in the beginning, that it's ridiculous we're only 2 classes away and it's happening now. I requested that the other coaches raise their hands if they felt incomplete with what's going on and ALL their hands went up.

Unfortunately, it was time for class to begin, so we couldn't finish what was started. But, all the coaches came up afterwards, hugged me, and thanked me for doing what I did. They said how courageous I was and they totally agreed with what I had to say. It was awesome, to be that self-expressed, and to then be acknowledged for it. I've never, in my life, have ever done anything like this before. That in itself was a major breakthrough and now I see the importance of being a leader and being cause in the matter. I do get that I was making Doris wrong through most of the conversation; however, it opened the doors to a new possibility of being deeply connected within our coaching team. This alone is a true victory for me and for everyone else.