The act is the source for transformation.

This recent and ENORMOUS breakthrough I had has been showing up for me all over the place. EVERYTHING makes sense now to how I was being and why things weren't going my way. Seriously, this may be the biggest one since I found my act in the Advanced Course. Interestingly enough though, if I didn't know my act of "I'm not good enough," I wouldn't have gotten it. It's so important to have this knowledge about one's self, the act is where we live from day-to-day and where our point of views originate. If the source can't be acknowledged then it's hard to know which direction to go and then we're stuck in another vicious cycle of "How can I fix this?" and "What's wrong with me?" We begin to believe that this is reality and then our stories are leading our lives once again. Noooooo thank you!

Here's Jill's experience in her Advanced Course this past July:

"Wow. Yep, that is pretty much all I have to say about my experience. Well...nevermind...I take that back, I actually have a lot to say about my experience. BUT, if I had to sum it all in one word, it would be, "wow".

I found exactly what I needed...my act. The very thing that makes me the way I am today. Having a better understanding of what that is is exactly how one can overcome their fears, insecurities or whatever else is going on.

First, for those of you who don't know...your act is something you use on a daily basis to deal with any tragedies, failures, insecurities or any uncomfortable situations you come across. In the process, it causes the "bad news", or the awful truth about you, to unknowingly come into play. This happens so often that before you know it (and usually you don't), you become a certain way of being. This way, dictates the results you get in life and that isn't for the positive.

Sometimes this way brings what Landmark calls a strong suit. A strong suit is a part of your act. The best way to describe it is, strong suits to an act is like scenes are to a movie. They all come together to form the big picture...you...but it really isn't you, it's your act.

Strong suits play into your insecurities. They are often good qualities, however, they allow people to use them to avoid real life. For example, if someone is being yelled at, they will use humor to get through it...humor being the strong suit.

Your act is something that is created at an early age, usually from an incident. Once it's there, it never leaves - you literally live by it, you ARE your act. Knowing where it started and what it brought to your life is exactly how one moves forward to live powerfully.

Ok, so, what does this mean for me? A TON of things. I definitely came out of this weekend feeling powerful. I mean, I was able to go way back to figure out what my incident was that set the path of how I have been living.

I am not going to tell you my incident only because the person that was involved would feel bad and there is absolutely no reason for them to. I was very young and the person was just teasing me, but I think I was too young and sensitive...I would have laughed at it today. Anyway, the way I dealt with it totally explains how I am today.

I did not voluntarily share on my own at all this weekend until Sunday when I found out my act. I guess you can say I was one of the quiet ones. However, realizing how dumb my insecurities were in light of my incident, allowed me to raise my hand and share for the first time in Jill Landmark history.

After my defining moment (not really...haha), we were let out for dinner only to come back for what really was my defining moment. One by one, we had to go on stage and declare who we are and the act we are giving up. We had to mean it and if we didn't, we would have to do it all over again. This was an exercise to get you to literally transform infront of the room. The only way for it to happen is for you to actually believe what you were saying.

I wanted to get this over with, so I volunteered after about 15 people went, which is crazy for me. As I went up, I heard the 3 claps (it's how you are introduced to start your transformation) and took a step forward. I was sooooooo scared. I decided to "be with" the audience before beginning, meaning, I tried to get present with them while taking deep breaths. I said:

"Who I am is the possibility of self worth (this is when I start crying) and self expression.
((deep breath)) The act that I am giving up is "I'm ok, now leave me alone",
and THAT is who I am."

The entire room got up so quickly, screaming and clapping and literally gave me a standing ovation. Although I was uncomfortable, I loved it. I had to stand up there and take it. I felt so supported it was unreal. I will NEVER forget it.

My act makes a lot of sense, especially to those who know me. I walk around quiet and cool, but what's really going on is that I am not feeling very good about myself which causes me to pen up everything that I may be feeling or thinking. When someone asks me if I am ok even if it looks like I am not, I will always say, "I'm fine".

I will give an example of 4 strong suits that allow me to get away with things I am dealing with...

I am creative, I use this to deal with expressing myself. I am motherly, I use this to show people I love them so I can skip the intimacy. I am always the "nice guy", I use this to deal with how insecure I am about myself along with not having to confront things. I am independent which allows me to keep people at a distance and avoid being vulnerable. I have a lot more than that, but you get the idea.

Because of the way I deal with things, I am distant, a non listener, selfish, passive aggressive, annoyed, short tempered, impatient, judgmental, flaky, a coward, bitchy, a follower...etc...the list goes on. These are my "bad news" or bad truths as I said above.

All of my strong suits and bad news combined..."I am ok, now leave me alone".