Pre-Landmark Perception

I was blinded by my thoughts, I was hiding behind my feelings. There was no way out, I didn't have anywhere to go. There was tension and so much confusion, I didn't believe life was supposed to be good. I accepted the pain, the sadness, the loneliness that was created. It was comforting, it didn't take any effort to be in that space. I just let my mind wander in so many directions, not taking responsibility for it's path. There was no point, life sucked. People weren't supposed to be happy, no...they were to survive, like me...everyday.

"Poor me. I want to go sulk in my room, I don't need to go out and experience life. What for? Something will happen to ruin it anyway. Fear is my roadblock, I don't want to do that. If I fail, it'll really show how incompetent I am. Things don't happen for a reason, they happen to me. I am the victim in this game, who wants to play? I'm sure there's many, but I choose to go alone. I am my own person, I don't need you or anybody else. Love sucks because it always ends. Why can't I find the right lady? My attitude is shitty, but that's because life isn't fair. I didn't ask for this so why is it here? I'm weak, another sad soul. Pity me please because I can't seem to get enough. I know I'm unhappy, so you should know it too. I wonder why I don't have any friends? I have no integrity, I can never seem to get stuff done. Why don't people believe me when I say I'm going to do something? I have no energy, I can't get off the couch. It's too hard to face the day, I'm staying in."