Jill and I had some fun today.

She's very good at Photoshop:

Just Another USC Game Day

Gina let's loose with the team before the big game.

Jill preps the team before entering the stadium. Psst Jill...Ohio State isn't until Jan. 8th!

Dianne and Frank are ready for the game to begin. "Hey, where's the beer, honey?"

Calen is full of spirit! He's determined for a Trojan win! Grrrrrrrr!

Jamie (Me) Jarret does it again!!!!! Woohoo!

Pssst...Ref...You're not supposed to be rooting for a team.

Torri takes the time to thank her number one fan...Gina Turley.

The End

My Christmas

This was the first Christmas ever that I spent away from Ohio. It was definitely different, but Gina's dad, Glenn, and his girlfriend, Louise, made it special and I felt totally included. On Christmas Eve, they took us out to dinner for the best steak ever...it was SO good and the wine was going down nicely. When we got home, we opened our presents, drank more wine, and laughed all night long...I don't remember going to sleep. Hehe.

On Christmas, we took Louise to Runyan, they worked around the house, and we ate a ton of food. Glenn made a huge turkey dinner; it was so yummy especially since I didn't get my Thanksgiving feast this year. I pretty much went to sleep soon after; I fell into a food coma, and couldn't keep my eyes open past 9.

It's been a great couple of days, however; I did miss my family a bunch. It's just not the same without them:(

Stories

Last night, Torri and I went to dinner again. The conversation was really great; we talked about how hard it is sometimes to share our own stories for fear of what the other person will think. We'll say to ourselves, "Maybe if they know this, they won't like me." Yep, I used to think this all the time. I remember in the past, I'd squirm around and get nervous, while speaking about something personal that I felt was negative. I never got that these stories are a part of who I am and the life lessons I needed to have to move forward. I'm not nervous at all now. It's really freeing to have a conversation from nothing and to not have to anticipate any type of reaction because I know it doesn't make me any less of a person. We unconsciously and consciously do things to learn what our next steps should be and whether or not it was positive or negative, it doesn't matter because it's just preparation for things to come. And, because I get this for myself, it's very easy to not pass judgment on others based on a story that happened along the way of who they are today. Learning from the past makes us stronger. There's nothing to be ashamed of, we choose our own paths and we chose them because we wanted them in that moment. It's whether or not we can break away from the shame, to learn from each lesson we create, and apply it to our lives and how we affect other people. Once we do that, we're free again and our stories come to an end. I love that!

Bad Tooth

I have a huge bruise on my jaw; I think it's from my dentist. I have a bad tooth and I've been telling him about it for over a year now in the hopes he'll finally set me up for a root canal. Yes, that's right...I WANT a root canal. He won't listen and tells me that the pain is all in my head because he'll numb me and I still feel it. Seriously, he almost put me in tears last week. It was terrible, I do know pain, it was real, and it's not in my head. I was really angry when I left and still am. His bedside manner was inappropriate and I will not be going to him again. I'm thinking of calling to let him know of my bruise, that my tooth still hurts, and that I will not be returning to his practice. Hmmm, I wonder what he'll say to that.

Happy thoughts

I've been spending a lot of time with Torri, I don't think I've ever gone out to eat as much as I have in the past few weeks. It's yummy and the company isn't so bad either ;) It's official, as Gina put it...I'm a smitten kitten and loving every moment. YAY!

My Project

My SELP coach and leader have been on my ass about finding a project and getting it passed. Even though I’m a coach, I’m still required to have one for my own self-empowerment and to live in my participant’s world for the purpose of staying related. I’ve been putting it off since I began the course as a coach, I was frustrated because no inspiring ideas were coming easily and I wanted to work on expanding Thank Dog! instead. I’ve been very resistant on “getting off it,” with the hopes that I wouldn’t have to complete one and I can go about my life and still coach at the same time. It wasn’t until I spoke to Doris, our SELP leader, on the phone that my attitude totally changed. I allowed myself to get into the space that a project is what needs to happen in order for me to complete this course and to be the coach that I want to be. Then all of a sudden, the universe spoke and the perfect project came to mind. It all began on a negative day in New York City…

As Jill, Gina, Carrie, and I walked the streets of Lower Manhattan over the 9/11 weekend, we all felt the negativity that was in the air, its presence in conversations, and in the words that were chosen for the newspapers. Unfortunately, it’s the norm of life. Human beings gravitate toward the negative; it makes for a “better” story and it’s easier to dwell in, for our own lives and in others. Most feel that life happens TO them, they don’t get that we are the creators of our own destiny, which puts each of us in control of every situation and moment we’re in. There’s so much bad in this world, our comfort zones keep us contained in a way that a positive outlook seems out of reach, not even a possibility can be created. Society is the danger to all of mankind. We were all poisoned with lethal thoughts and negative mind control, why else do we love to hear about another’s misery and dwell in our own because we think we’re not worthy? It’s sad, there needs to be a change, and this is where my project is coming from.

Carrie came up with the idea, we all loved it so much at the time but somewhere it got lost in the shuffle and we haven’t talked about it since…not until now anyway. She said, “We should create a newspaper that writes nothing but all good news, inspiring articles, and positive stories.” It was brilliant, a fantastic way to be in this world, trying to make a difference while putting a smile on people’s faces. I loved it! I was totally on board, which is why it came up for me as a possible project. Not only does it give me an excuse to keep writing, but it gives others a chance to share their stories, contribute to a positive way of thinking, and literally feel good while living in the moment of each word that is being written.

The Challenge: Okay so now, I have to figure out how to do this. Jill and I researched websites yesterday that unknowingly had the same idea, but seemed to be rather boring. Yes, I too am guilty of wanting the dirt, knowing the negative, and will lose interest rather quickly if the content is overly cheesy and doesn’t seem like a reality. However, this perception is good to have in this venture because it gives me an opportunity to come up with a new writing style that will bring all of us negative readers to the positive side of what life is really about. With that being said...I would love to hear your ideas and possible stories that you'd like to write. Email me if anything comes to mind, I'm going to need all the help I can get and would love for you all to be apart of it. Thanks!

AHHHHHHH!

I've been working on a post for an hour now and I didn't save it. My plug just came out of my computer...I'm very sad:(

Flash Video

Landmark Education put a flash video up for people to see what the Forum looks like. Check it out: Forum. If you go to "See it in Action", you can click on a leader and it'll show a demonstration. Jill and Calen had Jane as their leader...she's the blond woman from New Zealand. They absolutely loved her. There's only 57 leaders in the world...it's amazing what these people do for humanity.

My weekend

I had a fantastic weekend! Calen and I went shopping during the day on Saturday. We had a great time together trying on clothes, walking INTO mirrors, and being consumed by yummy perfume (I know this makes no sense to most of you...inside joke and a lot of laughter that follows as I write this:). Okay fine...I'll explain. We went into Abercrombie at the Grove. It's been remodeled into a three story, dance club atmosphere store, with freaky live mannequins and a whole lot of clothes. I was following Calen up the stairs, to find the perfume we were obsessing about for an hour...the smell was on this little post card that was handed to us earlier in the day. We're weird. Anyway, Calen was leading and as we climbed to the top floor, he proceeded to walk forward with the intention of exploring another big room...maybe that's where the perfume is? All of a sudden, he was stopped by a mirror and a man's voice saying, "Ummm sir, that's a mirror." HAHA, it was the funniest shit! He was so embarrassed and I couldn't stop laughing. I can't say that he's the only one that made an ass out of himself though, I mean...I was following right behind him.

Then, I got to meet up with Torri, the lady who has completely stolen my focus, we can't seem to get enough of each other. I love it, I'm having a blast, and it's nice to have that excitement and those fun butterflies again. Who knew that a blind date could work out so well? Not me, but I'm happy that it did! YAY!

Patience is everything.

Barry's Boot Camp rocks! Not only am I getting back into shape, but Barry himself is the one who set me up with Torri, that's her name by the way. Life is really fun right now! I'm working out, dog training during the day, making my own schedule, and having the pleasure of focusing on this lovely lady who I am going out with tonight. It's a sweet space to be in, things are just happening, and I'm at peace for each moment that goes by. I deserve it all and for the first time, I really truly believe that.

A second date

I wasn't gonna write about my date and I'm still not; however, I will tell you that it was awesome. She's really amazing and we're going out again on Wednesday. YAY!

When I got home last night, I had to give Gina and Jill the full report, they're excited too. It dawned on me how long I've been single...almost 2 years and still counting. I'm proud for taking all that time to work on myself, getting me ready for whomever comes into my life. I finally feel that a healthy relationship is definitely in the cards, I just have to play it right and choose wisely. It's always been said that when you least expect it, that's when she'll come knocking on the door. Now, I get to see if this is true or not...I'll let you know as soon as I do. Fun!

On second thought...

I am not going to blog about my date. If you want to know how it goes...call me. Thanks!

Can't wait!

I have a date tomorrow night as you all know. I'm REALLY looking forward to it, the wait has been pretty painful actually. We have a ton in common, she's very intelligent, beautiful, and owns her own business. Yeah, everything I could possibly ask for. I haven't talked to her on the phone yet, we're sticking it out until we finally meet. I'm trying not to have those annoying expectations in case the sparks don't fly, but it's hard not to since she seems so super cool. It's funny because Gina has been talking to her over email all week long. They instantly connected on My Space, they too have A LOT in common...more so than I. Weird how this all got started, but I'm digging it, so I'll be blogging soon...

Go dad!

It was my dad's birthday yesterday, my mom's is tomorrow. They're in Sarasota, Florida, a place where they go often. We called my dad to wish him a happy birthday and he sounded fantastic! He said he's been popping like crazy, an epiphany that changes your life right in that moment. I am SO happy for him, especially because this wasn't a birthday he was really looking forward to. Now, he's living in the moment and loving every minute. It's awesome, I'm so glad I never let up about them going through the Forum. They deserve to be this happy, just like I am today. YAY!

Here's the email he sent me on Monday:

"Crazy ass thing--as the day progresses, I feel more and more powerful and in control...it's like I can't wait for my next idea and I know whatever it is, I'll follow through and it'll work. This shit is scary."

Haha...I knew they were going to love it! It's a freedom they never knew existed and a game they never knew they were playing. Woohoo!

Thank Dog! Job

I've been dog training since Monday in Culver City. This woman hired me for two weeks to train during the day and go home at night...it's nice. Maggie and Macy are two rescue dogs, both adorable and sweet. I wasn't sure if I was going to have success with them, not until last night anyway. Erica called to give me an update about what happened last evening. Her dogs are territorial when it comes to her, their home, and won't stay in their place. I've been working with them, they've been good for me; however, I didn't know how they would be for Erica. She said someone knocked on the door and both dogs barked. She told them to go to their place, they went, and then stopped barking. She couldn't believe it and neither could I. I was thrilled and proud of myself. It's fun to make a difference in other people's lives and dog training does that. They want to live in a stress free home, while enjoying the company of their precious and loyal friend(s).

Did I tell you?

I am a Self-Expression Leadership Program coach. SELP is the last course of the Landmark Curriculum of Living. I coach 5 participants and I love it! I picked a wonderful group of people; we instantly connected the minute we first got together.

In case you're wondering, the coaches attend the same classes and workdays as our participants for support and to meet at the very end. Then, we have one scheduled coaching call a week, where I assist them with whatever they need in order to be powerful in life and in their project. I'm literally their life coach for 4 months; it's awesome to participate in another's transformation when they have a lack of power. Not only is it helping someone else, it brings perspective back into my own life. It also gives me the ability to practice "getting off it" because I can't be in my own head when I'm on a coaching call. Whatever is confronting me in that moment, I have to put it aside to become fully present in order to coach affectively. And, since it keeps me in the conversation on a regular basis, I can coach others who are in my life and that in itself is a gift that I couldn't get anywhere else. Coaching rocks and so does self-development!

Date

Haha...being around new people can really be beneficial in the dating world. Barry approached Jill yesterday to ask if I was single and said he had a girl for me. I was skeptical, only because I've had some weird experiences with people trying to set me up in the past. Most assume that because I'm gay, I'll like anyone else who is too. It's been funny to see the girls these people try to set me up with, so not anyone I would ever date. Luckily, this time may be different. I've seen pictures and have talked to her through email and so far she seems too good to be true. We have so much in common, it's kinda creepy to be honest. Now it'll come down to whether we have a connection or not. We're going out Sunday night...I'll let you know how it goes.

Barry's Boot Camp

I am the most sore I have ever been I think. My entire body aches and tightens up whenever I move even the littlest bit. My arms constantly need to be straightened out because they seem to want to curl up and stay that way. I am walking like a penguin and can't bend down very well. Jill says this will go away in a week, I hope she's right because I am extremely uncomfortable. The worst part of it is these last three days were the easiest we're going to get for the rest of the month. I can't even begin to imagine what tomorrow is going to be like...

Feeling bad? Take responsibility and recreate yourself.

I'm so proud of my mom and dad for going through the Landmark Forum this weekend. It was a rough one for them, but a true victory in the end. It was interesting to watch each phase they went through, things were coming up they didn't know existed or were still lingering around. It's those unknowns that stop us from life and because they are unknown, they can't be transformed. Our stories keep living strong, we don't know why we do the things we do or say the things we say, we we just know it doesn't feel good. It blocks us from having everything we want. In order to become unblocked, we have to identify the ugliness, no matter how bad it is, and then take full responsibility. That's where the power comes from. It's super empowering to detach from the past and recreate ourselves into a new being. We get a taste of what that power feels like and then strive to keep it going. Life will creep up again without question. That's why we have to keep recreating and sharing with the people around us. It makes it a reality, the way we all want to live and to stay happy while doing it.

Wahhhh!

I am SO sore. Seriously, I'm having a hard to moving around. This month is going to be an ass kicking at Barry's boot camp and I'm going to love...er...uh...hate every minute of it:)

Oh and by the way, Jill is rockin it! I'm truly impressed on how well she keeps up with the group and keeps smiling as she's doing it. She's finally at a point where she knows what she wants and is totally doing what she needs to get there. That lady is on a mission, it's not even a question anymore. Keep it up Jilly Bean!

Holy shit.

I started boot camp with Jill this morning and whoa. It was so hard and I am so weak at this point, I can't imagine what tomorrow is going to hold. Everyone there said today was an easy day...HUH!?! What I do know is, I am going to be eating A LOT and drinking protein shakes so I will gain muscle and not lose any weight. I'm excited that I'm doing it, I can already tell it's going to put me back into a workout mindset. Then after this month, it's back to the gym and I'll be an exercise queen again. YAY!

Go mom and dad!

My parents are doing great in the Forum! It's been a tough weekend, they're learning a lot, and have had quite a few breakdowns and breakthroughs. My dad just called me a little bit ago and said how awesome it is and it's everything I said it would be. Jill, Gina, and I are going to meet them for dinner around 5:30ish, talk about what they got, and finish the rest of the evening for their completion. I can't wait!

Damn

Damn UCLA won...terrible and extremely disappointing. Wahhhhhhhhh:(

Landmark

Mom and dad are in Landmark today, I dropped them off this morning. I was a bit emotional after I got back in the car. I just worry when it comes to them even though it's all a good thing. I can't speculate what the weekend will hold, everyone's experience is different. I know they'll have a few breakdowns, it makes me happy and sad at the same time. I'm happy because in the end, they're going to be on cloud 9 and will have let go everything that holds them back in life. I'm sad because it's going to be a tough process to go through; however, it's a huge part of the game and it has to be done. I love them so much and I'm really proud of them for doing this. I know the main reason they think they are is because of me; but in the end they'll see what an amazing education Landmark is and really get that they did it for themselves. I can't wait for Sunday evening, they're going to shine:)

Another night at the Abbey:

Calen and Jill

Carrie and Me

Let's kiss!

Juleen and Me

Gina and Mom smile for the camera.

Frank and Dad enjoy their Amstel Light.

Carrie loves mom.

Dianne finally gets to play with Momma and Papa Bowers.